Question : My relatives sometimes have mixed gatherings with alcohol on a table. And I have quite poor choice: to participate (surely without consuming haram) or to cause fitna. I do not like this situation at all: I try to have some excuses, but I'm not very successful here. The only exit I see from this situation is going for a doctoral (PhD) study to Europe. I was in Europe for a week, and understood that it won't be easy for me to accomodate there: another language, other people, and even in a mosque I didn't feel myself "on my plate". Is it obligatory for me to go to Europe or is it permissibe for me to stay here and sometimes to participate in not good gatherings?
Answer : If the harm caused by not going is greater than the harm of going, then you go to the extent that is needed to avoid the harm, and you do not go when you can avoid it, nor do you stay any longer than needed to avoid harm.